Darn Pant Sizes

This week I had one of those hurry-out-of-the-mall-before-I-burst-into-tears experiences. I am currently wearing a size 18 in jeans (at GAP). Now you should see them on me (they are the ones that fall off when I walk), my husband hates them and says I look buttless in them. I would agree I can pull them out pretty far on the waist and the butt/thigh area probably a solid 6 inches. You would think I could go to the mall and easily slip into a size 16 (curvy also at GAP) right? WRONG! I tried them on and while they fit ok around my thighs and made my butt look pretty fabulous (in comparison to the current "buttless" ones), but they won't zip up! What the hell is that about? My husband asked if I wanted to go to any other stores and I couldn't even talk, I just headed straight for the exit. The moment I sat down in the car, waterworks. I was sobbing. After losing nearly 10 lbs and having the next size up you would think the 16's would have been absolutely perfect. But somehow, someway, they don't fit and it was completely devastating. It was like all of my hard work was for nothing. Like there was no light at the end of the tunnel and like I was never going to be able to shop at normal stores that I want to shop at. Don't worry I didn't go downhill and binge eat or let it bother me for a week (I only let it get me down the rest of the day :) ) but man, those darn pant sizes!!

Weigh In!

I'm busy so this won't be a lengthy exciting post, but, I'M DOWN A POUND! Wooo!

Excited

So this new motivation that came from no where is really doing wonders. I'm feeling more energized and am excited to make this change. The schedule I made for myself has done wonders for me, I've incorporated all of it but the two (probably most important) parts, the part where I wake up really early to exercise, and the part where I go to be early so I am able to wake up and exercise... oops. That will begin tonight though and the exercising tomorrow moring. Yes I know people are always saying that they will do it tomorrow, but what better day to start than a Monday?

Anyways, I'm so excited, my pants are falling off!! No, but really. When a walk from the living room to my daughters room to put her down for a nap (maybe 10 ft), my pants fall off! Since I'm holding her and have no free hands to grab them before they fall they just end up falling off. Haha thats a happy thing though, because it means I need a SMALLER size! Do any of you have advice or anything about what you did when you started shrinking, I dont want to buy a whole new wardrobe every time I drop a size, because the plan is to drop about 6 sizes, and that could get pretty expensive I suspect. Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday, and that your pants fall off too! :)

I Can, I Will

I started Weight Watchers about 2 months ago. I started at 227 lbs, and this week on monday I weighed in at 220.7 lbs. I know it isn't a ton, but its a start, it's progress and a step in the right direction. I decided today that I need to do better. I am tired of hating my body, and the way I look. I hate looking at myself and wanting to cry, and being the heaviest person in my group of friends. I hate being so tired and feeling like my husband doesn't look at me the way he did before (I know he still thinks I'm beautiful, and that he  loves me). I want him to be able to walk around and think he has the best looking wife around. Tonight I layed out a schedule that includes cooking healthy meals and making time to exercise each day. I am printing out pictures of me at my healthiest to motivate myself, as well as some quotes. I can do this and I will do this, by next summer I will be ready for swim suit season (even if I can never wear a bikini, I will be confident enough to be in a swimsuit) and by next month I will be at my first weight watchers goal, 216 lbs. I can, and I will.

First Day of the Rest of my Life

My whole life I've been over weight, except for a short period in highschool when I was playing water polo 24/7. I've always been one to eat because it tastes good, or because I was bored and couldn't think of anything better than grabbing a snack. After gaining more weight than I'd like to admit to during my pregnancy, I am at an all time low mentally, and literally as high (weight wise) as I've ever been. I have a hard time waking up some days because I'm so tired, which I would attribute to staying up late because I don't wear my body out during the day. I over eat, and don't always make healthy choices. I've done Weight Watcher's but haven't been able to pay for it recently. Once I stopped the weight flew right back on. I decided last night after an emotional breakdown the previous night, that I needed to make a change in my life. I needed to eat healthier and less, exercise much more, and then maybe I would not only feel better about myself, but I would be teaching my daughter the same healthy habits.

This blog is to hold me accountable, track my journey to health, and to help me see improvements within myself. Not only physicaly, but also mentally. I hope that someone sees this blog and finds inspiration from it, to take the first step to being healthy and finding a way to love themselves more fully. 

On this day I:

Measure: 5'9

Weigh: 218.6 lbs

Have Lost: 0lbs

Need to lose (to be a healthy weight for my gender and height): 49.6 lbs

BMI: 32.3 (obese)

Feel: excited to start this new chapter in my life.

Plan of Atack 

Day 1- DONE!

Today I have accomplished my goals of eating less, healthier, and exercising. And there's nothing more that I can do. One day at a time is the only way to accomplish anything.